Yesterday a mom friend asked me what my New Years resolutions were. Honestly, I haven’t thought of any. She rattled off the usual for her: Lose weight, eat better, more fun, less stress …
I think resolutions are pointless. There is tons of research showing that no one really sticks to their New Year’s goals anyway, so why do we make them year after year? There’s got to be a better way to make something happen for ourselves, and finally lose those pounds, don’t you think?
Looking ahead into our future is mostly just anxiety provoking anyway. It actually stresses you out to look ahead. It’s like trying to make sense of the unknown. You think about all these things you want to do or have in your life, then you feel dissatisfied with what you already have, next thing you know you’re popping a Xanax. Sure, our mommy planner minds love to think ahead and spin our brains into a frenzy. But don’t most the plans you make turn out differently than expected?
The other morning, I planned to go to a nature center with my family. On the way there, my husband rear ends another car, and the only place we were going was to the police station near by.
Of course this doesn’t mean you don’t ever intend to do things in your life and just sit in your room and veg out like a sack of sweet potatoes. Though that does sound like a great idea right about now. I could use some restful vegging. But you can put your intentions out there for what you want, and especially for what you want in the New Year, but then let those needs go. Don’t actually care either way if they happen. Detach from the outcome, as a guru might say.
What’s even more powerful than making resolutions and looking ahead, is being in the present moment. Yes, I know now I sound like a crazy, woo woo, wanna be guru, but really, learning how to be present and in the moment, has been the fastest way for me to actually get all the things I want in life. It’s when I’m in the moment, that life is clear and makes sense. I’m able to deeply connect to my true self, not my wacky crazy mommy planner-mind self, and can actually breathe. A joy and peace of mind come over me, better than any amount of Xanax I can down, and everything feels perfect. Then life unfolds exactly how it should, without me having to do much.
Maybe you had goals for yourself, but coming from your head, those goals are too limiting. When you’re in your presence, there are so many other and bigger opportunities that are now possible. Things you could never think up! Your mind just limits you, and gets you to focus on things that never really stick, like those darn resolutions!
So how the heck do we get out of our heads, really chill out and get present? Without meditating for very long or doing yoga, please! Here is one way:
- Sit in a quiet place and start breathing with your hands on your knees.
- Listen to your breath.
- Let your mind settle and thoughts pass. Watch the thoughts like clouds in a sky.
- Feel your heart, and the space around it in your chest.
- Tell yourself to be here now. “You are here, you are here, you are here,” you can tell yourself.
- Feel the presence in your heart and chest area grow.
- From that place, watch your mind and thoughts. If other thoughts, let them pass.
- Connect back to your heart area. Feel it grow and get warmer.
- Start to feel calmer, connecting to your essence, your heart and true self and know that that is who you really are.
- Have your presence, which is also your intuition, tell you what your resolutions are, and what you really want. They might be very different from those goals you thought you had.
Is this working at all?! If not, don’t worry. You have time to work on getting present and finding that peace of mind and inner wisdom that can guide you to your best year yet. In the mean time, I am wishing you the happiest of New Years to you and your family!