I had big plans for yesterday. My husband urged me to take the day off. He has a busy few day ahead and all our families are flying in on Thursday to celebrate our son’s birthday this weekend, so yesterday was the perfect play day for just me.
“Have the day off to do whatever you like and I’ll watch our boy, before things get busy,” He said. The whole day off? I love this man. My mind started running wild thinking about all the things I could do.
At the top of my list was:
– Take a spin class.
– Take a yoga class.
– Go to lunch with a friend … at my favorite wine bar.
– Get a foot massage.
– Have dinner with a friend.
– Go see a movie at a theater where I could have more wine.
It was going to be a great day. The morning came and I took my boy to pre-school knowing I was off duty after my drop off. My husband would pick him up when school was over, and then it would be hours of mommy freedom.
I walked into that wine bar, waiting for my friend to arrive and ordered my lavender tea to start. The next thing I order would be white wine and their divine kale spinach salad, of course.
Then I got a text:
“He’s hysterical. I don’t mind being with him and you having lunch. Just want to let you know.”
I dropped the phone but remain calm. My boy is still going through a big mommy phase. He wakes up and calls for me and won’t let up, so I can never sleep in in the morning. He cries “no dada” if my husband wants to take him to the park or give him a bath. We have “a thing” that’s very sweet, but it can really kill a mom’s fun day out.
As much as I wanted to stay at the bar, I couldn’t let my boy cry hysterically. I know my husband tried everything he could to calm him down, like turning on the TV. But my little one actually told him to turn it off while weeping, which has never happened. No, I had to go home and console him.
The truth is though part of me was disappointed, in that moment, I accepted the situation. I didn’t judge it as good or bad. It was just what it was. My boy needed me and it wasn’t the right time for me to take a day off. I apologized to my friend, packed up my bag and coat, longingly eyed the lady next to me sipping her afternoon rosé and simply went home.
Walking home I wondered, what if we were able to accept everything that happens in our lives, as it is. What if we let go of what we think our days should be like? What if we made plans but then didn’t expect them to actually happen? There would be less suffering.
Of course I’m mainly talking about regular day to day happenings, nothing extremely tragic, like the viscous attack in N.Y.C. yesterday. I can’t even begin to rationalize that horrible incident.
In the end, I came home and spent the rest of the day with my boy and husband. We went to the park and looked for rocks and collected pretty leaves. We all held hands and walked fast down our street. We played with ABC puzzles. I drank wine with dinner and afterwards my husband rubbed my feet while we read books together. Then, I went to bed early. The day was perfectly unplanned after all.