My friend has a son who was living in Bali and was going to be married next week. They planned a beautiful wedding in their village. All their friends and family booked their plane tickets and hotels for the celebration. Then a few days ago news hit that the Mount Agung volcano had erupted. My friend’s son not only had to cancel his wedding, but had to leave Bali immediately because the air quality became so bad.
My friend said to me, “Life is our Commander in Chief. We are not in charge.”
I thought that was insightful. My friend, who could have been upset about his son and all the money he had lost, instead just surrendered. Yes, he was upset at first. He was looking forward to his son’s wedding for months. But after a few hours his sad feelings passed because he didn’t wallow in them, and he was able to accept what happened.
To be honest, my friend is also my spiritual teacher, who helps ground me and also helps me connect to my true self — not that wacky, neurotic broad I know so well.
He also told me about one of the people who he sees, who had bad headaches and balance issues, making it hard for him to function and care for his family. For two years this man complained about these painful symptoms. My friend would explain to him at each visit that accepting his situation and not fighting it is really the cure.
“Resistance is futile. When we resist what is happening, we just suffer.” he said. For two years, this man fought against and complained about his life. When he finally accepted his situation, his ailments stopped bothering him and he never spoke about them again. It was amazing.
Don’t get me wrong, accepting your situation doesn’t mean you give up and don’t do anything to change your life. You just do what you can, while being at peace with where you are.
I needed to hear these stories of surrender. Recently I’ve been feeling like one tired mama, trying to keep up with a sweet but strong-minded, little Scorpio toddler. I’ve also found myself complaining too much about my lack of sleep and lack of me time.
I’m reminded that when I accept my situation and feel at peace with whatever I’m going through and whatever comes my way — my life will be much easier. I’m reminded that I am not in charge of everything or anything. It’s not my fault that my two-year-old is addicted to TV and doesn’t like to feed himself. Well, sort of…
But seriously, I’m changing my attitude and I’m going to welcome all my challenges as a mom of a toddler. Bring on those sleepless nights and long days. Bring on those tantrums and tears when I turn off the TV. Bring on all those toddler viruses that get us all sick 8-10 times a year. It’s just part of the course right now. At the same time, I’m putting a list of sitters and spas together! Like I said, acceptance is the fastest way to bring about that change. Wink.