My husband came home last night and paid me the sweetest compliment that frankly made me uncomfortable.

husband compliment

He had been out with a friend the night before and when describing our marriage, he shared a compliment about me. His friend was amazed, got excited and said that he had to share what he told him with me right away.

So this morning, my husband holds me close in our kitchen and lovingly says, “I love seeing you age!”

A wave of uneasiness rushed over me and I asked, “What?!” He then stuttered for a moment, back tracked and explained how he loves seeing me grow. And that maybe I’m not that sassy “young” twenty-something but the way I’m aging and gaining more maturity and wisdom is much more sexy.

I guess I was kinda buying it.

Still all I heard was that I’m aging. Then I wondered if he could see the little wrinkles starting to form on my upper my lip and around my eyes.

I know my husband meant well. He does find older women beautiful and would probably divorce me if I ever got Botox. After our sweet and awkward moment, I gave him a big hug and kiss, and then walked away with icky feelings.

At 42, it’s just a fact that the aging process is about to accelerate, no matter how many great facials I get. And no I won’t ever get one of those Vampire facials because you literally look like a puffy cat-lady afterwards.

Now is the time to get real and become at peace with what’s to come. So here is a pep talk to myself:

If you’re happy and you know it, you won’t age. If we are happy and live our lives peacefully and with joy—we never really age. Just look at Julia Roberts for goodness sake. She looks incredible at 50 years old. Though I’m hoping she’s never had plastic surgery.

Focus on your inner beauty. This is the time when we work on going inward. Just sing the song, “I can’t get no satisfaction … from anything external.” Inside ourselves is where we find the ultimate happiness and bliss. As my yoga teacher said this morning, “Everything we need is inside ourselves.” Don’t hate me. It’s true! Every time I look in the mirror and think I see myself aging, I will use it as an opportunity to look within for my beauty and happiness.

Who you are is not your body. Our body is part of our external self, but it’s not who we really are. Our heart and spirit are who we are. If we connect inward, we will know our true selves. That spirit is what never ages and lives on even after we pass. Yes, I know this sounds like some awful new age bible, but stick with me here! My husband’s grandmother was 93 and she passed a few months ago. Before that, even though her body ached and was breaking down, she still told us she felt like she was still 18. In her heart and spirit, she really was that young!

So today I say loud and proud, bring on those wrinkles! With those lines come confidence, wisdom and many rich experiences. Apparently my husband is digging this aging process on me too. So I’ll worry less about those facials, welcome his compliment and say with an open-heart, “Thank you!”